Community Mourning

CW: Death

This week was a hard week for a lot of folk. And as I try to find the words to express what I want to say, and even thinking about what to say in this post yesterday, I was faced with the immensity of not enoughness. There are not enough words to describe how I feel; there are not enough words to the express the lacuna of not having Arley around any more. 

I received the news via Twitter message which was appropriate I guess because almost all my interactions with Arley have been through Twitter. I never had the opportunity to meet her in person, but our conversations on Twitter, and shared passion for and reinforcement of the need for advocacy work in the educational and community sphere to support disabled folks, was something that connected us. She had just mailed me some iron-on patches 2 weeks before she died. That patch is in my office at the university- a constant reminder of the active nature of building community, and that community is where you build it.

What I noticed when the news spread is how everyone grieves differently. How when the news came out some jumped to role that they usual hold when there is some sort of crisis, to support folk in the ways they need support, to organize, or suggest organizing things if that is something that would be meaningful, needed, or helpful. There were incredibly meaningful tributes and sharing of memories. Her colleague and friend Seanna started this hashtag to collect all the great remembrances being shared. And I think what made this powerful on reflection, as someone embedded in teaching and learning spaces, is that everyone had their own way to mourn both individually, and also collectively, as community got together on Twitter through posts and DMs, and it really modelled the kind of open, iterative, UDL focused educational work Arley did for teaching and learning of professional communications. I also teach professional communications, and this open education textbook resource she helped create is a really wonderful resource for students in my class. The space for learning Arley created and supported is being continued through the spaces community is creating for mourning.

Of all the posts I saw this week about Arley, memories (please read this memory thread for example and also this other memory thread from her best friend), reinforcement of what an impact she had in her support of disability community, accessibility, open education, and all the communities in BC she was connected to, and KPU (Kwantlen Polytechnic University), it was a post by Lucia Lorenzi, that really brought home what community mourning is also about. It is not just about collecting in grief, or supporting each other in the ways that feel meaningful, it is about recognizing that we also need to do this while folk are still around. Too often these thoughts, that care and love and support, only happens after someone is gone, after something devastating happens. Arley was the type of person who recognized the need for this kind of support always, not just when a crisis happens. She proactively worked to make the spaces she was in and connected to better. 

Arley's family have started a Go Fund Me for Dottie, and it is also a space where you can share memories if you wish. I know we all enjoyed the slice of life posts Arley would share every once in a while about life with Dottie, posts that made me laugh, posts that made me cry, posts that showed what incredible humans they both are. So if you can, and you want to, please give what you can to Dottie; the support would be really great. We will miss you Arley; thank you for sharing your light with us.