Where are you Making a Difference?

This week has been a week of deep reflection. A lot of the conversations I have had this week with different folk has caused me to think about how people make a difference and where people can and do make a difference every day. I have been thinking about the pace of this change and difference making and how the systems will always tell you that change needs to be slow when the whole world has shown how change is sudden, fast, and sustained when it wants to be.

When you have conversations about where you can make a difference in academe it always distills down to numbers and that from the core of my being makes me incredibly sad. This toxic need to quantify everything goes against the foundations of advocacy work and is an extension of how productive have you been, what does your CV look like, how many publications did you manage to get out this year. I have this running gag with a friend where I assure her that despite my accessibility advocacy, and want of accessible information exchange for everyone, I do not want a QR code on my tombstone that links to my Google Scholar page. Advocacy work, as I have said many times on this blog, is about creating inclusive communities, and it is not a numbers game. It is not a chart or a graph. It is much more holistic than that. Advocacy work creates communities that keep you accountable and they will call you in for lack of acknowledgement of those who came before you; they will call you in for lack of humility and grace. Advocacy work is not about egos and parades; it is supporting people and showing up for them. There is no distinct metric for this. There is no badge. It is only the work. The work shows for the work. Let me say that again, the work shows for the work. 

The community that is built and maintained through inclusive practices and advocacy for inclusive practices is one built on strong communication and open dialogue. You can often tell if you are making a difference by what people tell you, and what people don't tell you. You can tell if you are making the kind of difference the systems don't want to see if you are excluded, and regularly not told certain things. Yes those sound like very Sara Ahmed type sentences, yes, but she isn't wrong. Systems remind you that you are within the systems with silence. 

You can tell if you are making a difference if you know who you can trust and who you can talk to and you know that they will put that change in as soon as possible and not just use words that sound "right" and do nothing. This week I emailed a co-chair of an association I am part of to express how I felt a lot of things about groups in this association were very cloak and dagger and that needed to change. That needed to change because it is not great for folk who are part of the association who have anxiety, and it is super not great when we are living in a pandemic and secrecy severs trust and real community openness. After 2 hours of emailing a few times back and forth and a short 30 min Zoom, this suggestion is being put forward to the other co-chairs and change will be put in place. Not next year, not in 2 years time. Within a few months. That's making a difference. 

This interaction reinforced the importance of doing things that make me feel like I am making a difference. I know right now we are all so very tired. In that tired, the thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I can be there to listen to folk, be that instructors or students, and that I can support them by listening and reflecting. In turn that there are people in other spaces who are listening and seeing me. I know this is not possible all the time for everyone, but what I am emphasizing here is the importance of keeping lines of communication open, and when you do, others (like students for example) will know they can reach out you, whenever they can, and not just at the end of term when the finality of it all leads to panic.

Communication makes a difference. How you communicate makes a difference. How you present changes that are needed makes a difference. How you react to how those changes are asked for time and time again, makes a difference. When I go to bed at night I always ask myself, was I there for someone or many someones today, and sometimes the answer is a more obvious and resounding yes, and other days I have no way of really knowing (see what I mean about numbers). But I do know that I tried my best and amplified what needed to be amplified and listened carefully to what needed to be heard and that down the line that may make all the difference to someone; maybe years from now. Whatever energy I find myself digging up is actually coming from the community that I am in, and that community I am in is not found in the places I am supposed to call home or what other people would define as my home. It is found in outreach places, in associations, at conferences, on Twitter, in my DMs. Those places make a difference for me, and I need those places right now. I hope you have those places too, and if you don't please reach out because I would love to help hold space for you. 

There won't be a blog next week because in the spirit of The Spirit of the West I am going home for a rest. I have a lot to think about and the time away is needed. I hope you get some rest and time as well in whatever way it manifests itself.