Controlling the Immensity

 I know I always say this and then these posts become 1000 word diatribes, but this will be a shorter post today because I am on vacation. Yes you heard correctly vay-ca-tion, which for those who know me well is a very very foreign concept to me. I have a hard time stopping and even if I do it is often not for long. But here I am with a whole week ahead of me and day one I must say has been pretty fantastic already. All I have done today is read books, go to a farmers’ market, and eat cheese from said farmers’ market.

Vacation is from the Old French for freedom from obligations (etymology online), and for me that is sort of true but yet there are lists that I have that I am checking off. Like for example read x or y book, or write a short blog because you will be travelling tomorrow and won’t be able to post. They are not obligations in the same way as the intersection of obligation and responsibility in the workplace context, but still they are I guess in my own way, to dos I would like to get done so I can say I had a fulfilling and rewarding vacation. One of these to dos is to try out my new portable clothes washer next week (I know the life around here is just riveting).

But to be fair this time off came just in time. Yesterday I was having a day where the immensity of everything was weighing very heavily on me. And being off doesn’t mean that things are any less immense, it just means I technically don’t have to deal with the immensity until Monday the 24th. Part of living in COVID times is acknowledging just how out of control everything is. When the very very small part of what I do have control over was infringed yesterday I just lost my ability to stay focused, to keep on with the tasks at hand. We are living through some extremely emotionally intense and physically taxing times. The only way that we can get through this in a healthy and aware manner is to try to gain control over small parts of our lives that we can and hold tight. This will be different for everyone. For some it will be dietary choices, for others it will be sleep, for still others it will be daily routine. 

I spent a lot of time both discussing and contemplating trauma aware and trauma informed practices this week. The important part of this awareness is to reflect and know when you need to draw the line or need to step back for a bit. That was me yesterday. So what I will do for the next week or so is focus on a whole lot of nothing if I can, spend some time in nature, and spend time with friends where possible. Distance is important as is reflection and as I have mentioned in many previous posts reflection rests at the heart of critical pedagogy theory and praxis. So that’s the next step now for me. Logging off of here and continuing to read my really interesting library book, listening to the cicadas and the birds, packing for some exciting time in nature at the cottage. I hope your week goes well and remember to take some time for you and to make the lines in the sand clear.