I Know You Are Busy, But

This blog is two days late. It is two days late because it has been a moment here this past week and well the fact that this blog is two days late is pretty much the manifestation of that moment.

As the title of this blog suggests, I’ve been busy. I mean we have all been busy haven’t we, but my inbox is often the manifestation of how busy we all have been. And there it is really, the “but” that is the crux of this blog post. But is a grammatically useful word in the English language, serving most often as a conjunction connecting two phrases or clauses, but it can be a preposition, and sometimes an adverb. But, is a useful word grammatically, but is also a very loaded word connotatively. 

Denotatively it is that word in between, etymologically from the Old English for outside or except...Except is where that connotative weight comes in. Take for example this sentence found often in inboxes and text messages everywhere: “I know you are very busy, but…” What comes after the ellipses doesn’t really matter here. Let’s try these for fun:

• I know you are very busy but, I am sick

• I know you are very busy but, I need an answer right away

• I know you are very busy but, can we schedule a meeting in 30 minutes

• I know you are very busy but, I need you to show me how to create gridlines when you print in Excel

  
  

These are all examples from life in fact. The first is from my cat, the next two from emails, and the last a text from my mother. 

That but negates everything else connotatively that comes before it. I know you are very busy but, your blog is two days late says my brain. I know you are very busy but, you need to put some things on hold and take care of your elderly cat. I know you are very busy but, here are some random spider bites that itch so so badly just to disrupt your day and well-being.

All of us are doing the best we can under these conditions. Conditions where even going to get a book at the library requires mental preparation, and then decontamination when you get home. Nothing is the same, and nothing will be for quite some time. So we do what we can to keep up with the flow of everything, but sometimes you can’t and you need to stop. It is so important to know when that point is and try to stop before then. I have not been able to write a stitch since Saturday.  I know I have things I should be writing, but I couldn’t. Here again nothing that comes before that but means a thing. I couldn’t write, so I didn’t. 

My cat was sick, I have had him for almost a decade and a half. So I had to stop and take care of him; give him more attention that I normally do (which is already a tonne). My body has not been reacting well to that added stress, so I haven’t been eating a lot. Not a lot of food means not a lot of energy, means nothing in the tank to write words. Not even a blog post. And that is okay. It has to be.

We need to work on wellness and calling out the “but”s. Buts in sentences often mean you are not going to be the priority here, and sometimes yes that is okay, but it cannot be all of the time. So I challenge you this week to count the amount of buts you get in your inbox and text messages and to gently push back if you can. You won’t be able to help anyone if you don’t prioritize yourself every once in a while. No, ifs, ands, or buts about it.