Fostering Spaces of Relationality In A Time Of Hyper-Transactional

Today was a joy sandwich. But I should specify, because I started my day with moments of joy and I ended my day with moments of joy, but in the middle of that joy bread goodness was a thin layer of ick. And it is funny how the joy bread can be real thick, but it is the icky that means you are writing a blog post at 10pm because you know that you won't be able to sleep otherwise. That and well it is Pride weekend and when 4:30 rolls around tomorrow I am planning on disconnecting as much as I can from things so this is also why this is early.

What I want to frame this week is the concept of relationality, and how we foster more relational spaces, in a time of everything being hyper-transactional and checkboxy and "good enough." And to be clear there is definitely times where grace space means that good enough is good enough. But when good enough is foundational, it is often the marginalized and multi-marginalized who have to face barriers because of lack of reflection and follow-through. Disabled folk have been saying this for years when it comes to space design, when it comes to digital design, when it comes to the need for user testing. Good enough often means inaccessible and checklist stamped approval. Good enough means an overlay. So I am going to give you this week some things to think about about how to move away from the transactional that neo-liberal Capitalist hetero-patriarchy asks of us in HigherEd GenAI land, toward more joy bread, or relational spaces of care, exchange, and connection.

Spaces of Relationality Come From a Dedication to Care and Awareness

Today I started my day by facilitating a workshop on accessible pedagogy misconceptions. I had been looking forward to this workshop, not only because I knew that folk that I know from the trauma-informed UDL group that I am a part of would be there, but also I was excited to hold space for awareness of assumptions around accessibility. People at other institutions messaged and texted me in the morning saying they would be there and were looking forward to it.

About half way through the session the fire alarm went off and I had to leave my office. Now by every right I could have just said sorry folks let's find a way to reschedule. And if the clear relational piece had not already been present in that space that is probably what anyone would have done. But I could not do that, because the chat was active, folk were using the Padlet I created, 70 some odd people were there to be in community together and focus on this topic. Who was I to take that away from them? So I grabbed my computer and I sat outside in the rain under a tree and continued the workshop. And it was great, truly a wonderful experience. I kept checking to see if folk were bothered by the quick switch, but folk seemed to be okay with me just randomly doing this from a greener venue. No one left the room, folk did breakout room conversations. It was really a great experience that I know I will remember for a long time. Part of that is because of how we approach these spaces. Are we just doing a workshop because this is the time the workshop is supposed to be and it was scheduled, or are we doing the workshop because holding space for these conversations is needed in HigherEd and sometimes I get real lucky to be able to facilitate them? I know we talk about following your why, and this was really one of those moments.

Spaces of Relationality Come From Holistic Awareness

After the workshop I was also lucky to continue my joy bread by spending lunch time with colleagues at the student accessibility office as we did a beading activity for Pride. And what I love about that holding of space is that often times in HigherEd we think that days or remembrances are only supposed to be for students because there is a real focus on the student-facing. But it is nice when spaces acknowledge that it may not only be the students who need space held at these times, that colleagues and coworkers do too. And this isn't about well we don't have any Queer folk in the office (fun fact I bet you do, probably more than one) it is about acknowledging that staff and faculty understanding the importance of Pride together (especially in the times we are in right now), also will allow them to do the kind of work that will be inclusive and supportive of students.

And this isn't just a Pride thing, this is a Black history month thing, this is a knowing when Ramadan is thing, this is a knowing when Indigenous Peoples Day is thing (and how that is different than National Day for Truth and Reconciliation), this is a knowing when Holi is thing, this is a knowing when Nowruz is thing, this is a knowing when the different Jewish high holidays are thing, and what you can do in your spaces to acknowledge it. Not acknowledge it in a photo-op type thing that is good for marketing, but acknowledge it in a boardroom with random beads and laughter and discussion. You know the kind of stuff that doesn't have SEO. The kind of relationship building from awareness that is devoid of the transactional, pics or it didn't happen type thing. 

Is Your Attempt At Relational Actually Just Transactional Disguised as Connection?

Sometimes we do things during the day that we feel are relational but quickly become transactional. Think about how many times we ask folk "hey how are you?" as greeting not really wanting to hear the answer, or assuming that the answer will be "good" because we don't have spoons or desire to respond to anything else but good as an answer. Take some time to reflect on the things you do on the daily, and ask yourself why you do them. Is it to make connection, is it to be relational, or is it for reasons you don't understand? Relational comes from the heart, it comes from morals and values, it doesn't come from some we have always done it this way place. 

Spaces of Relationality Come Random Chance Encounters and Connections

I ended my day with a meeting of the disability reading group I coordinate. For an hour we chatted about a great module about disability arts and crip cultural practices. As always the hour goes by too quickly- there are many laughs, great discussion, great sharing of resources. And again relationality. This space actually started by Twitter conversation more than 3 years ago and we are still going. Some of the members have changed, new ones have joined, other's left because of capacity, but it is strongly about building relationships between disabled folk. 

This week I also was contacted by two separate folk who want to either do a podcast or just interview/chat with me about the work I do who found me because of a conference workshop I ran or because of being a guest on other podcasts. That sort of relationality and connection, that in turn becomes citational justice in the way it flags the origins of connection not in a transactional way, but in a I want to be in community with you way because I found you through people and spaces I consider community spaces.

Conclusion

You see these instances and questions, they are not asking folk to do a lot of heavy lifting or extra work. What these example of relationality are saying is be aware of the folk you are leaving out of conversations and be aware of how you can hold space for folk you want to be in community with. This is not task list, inbox zero type stuff. This is hey, how can we stop for a second instead of checking a list or a box in an artificially neo-liberal urgency created timeline and say the work you do matters. I see the work you are doing, I see the community you are pulling together, I see how acknowledging these things would make learning spaces stronger, agile (not to use a PM term, but more about the meaning of setting in motion). So what can you do this week, this month, to make it so that you not going through the motions and just checking a box, but rather seeing the humanity and relationality of the folk around you, physically or virtually. Pride just isn't for students. Armed conflict also just doesn't impact students. You know those Vietnam war area pictures with protesters putting flowers in guns? I want to do that to the magical checklists that run decision making because it shouldn't have to take a fire alarm for you to touch grass.